This letter is a reply to Orlando who gave advice on getting around a taped up cat flap!
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Mr Orlando,
How dare you disclose a lady’s age (not even mentioning it’s in cat years) for all to see.
Regarding your advice, I took it several months ago and found another single gent next door who began by putting out just a bowl of water but soon succumbed to my charms. I am now playing that one off against the other with some success.
By the way, I now consider myself gender-neutral and wished to be known as Peroni.
Peroni,
The Highlands

Dear Peroni,
Thank you for your update. I consider myself somewhat chastised but would like to reassure you that we at Autumn Voices are an age-positive lot. Your increasing cat years on this earth are to be celebrated and are an indication of a life lived – rather excitingly in your case, it seems.
We hope you and him and the other him are having a jolly game of cat and mouse.
Yours Purrfully,
Mr Orlando, Esquire

Want to tell Orlando about your pet stories?
Why not send your anecdotes and pictures to:
orlando@autumnvoices.co.uk