This is Mycroft’s response to Orlando’s advice – read the initial post!

Mycroft replies

Dear Orlando,

I write to thank you for your advice.

I was bereft upon reading your reply, as I rather hoped you’d equip me with a brilliant plan to persuade my humans they were making a terrible mistake. Instead, I received some tough love, and after spending several days feeling utterly furious and peeing on the carpet in protest, I calmed down and reflected on what you said. 

This is an opportunity, and with all the terrible things going on in the world, I am lucky indeed. I think my humans realised I was struggling with their decision as they bought me a guidebook to help me understand my new life. I haven’t reached the chapter on snakes yet, but I’ve read all about how warm it is and I’m looking forward to the delicious scraps from the barbecues my humans will have. 

I haven’t yet managed to hide Tuppence, my younger companion, in a charity shop bag, but due to some particularly childish behaviour on her part when she first arrived here, the humans think it’s her who peed everywhere. An unexpected bonus! I’ve decided not to correct them as there are few moments of pure satisfaction left at my age. I have instead enjoyed watching her being banished into the utility room while they furiously clean the house to ready it for sale. 

I am replete with this small victory, and Australia beckons.

With gratitude,
Mycroft