Dear Orlando,
I’ve been having trouble with my humans recently and I hope you can help me.
I’ve been living with them for a couple of years after being adopted, but I’ve always preferred the woman-human to the man-human. She smells lovely and spends more time cuddling me than he does. I’m very fond of kneading her with my paws and sitting on her or being as close to her as possible – I even follow her to the toilet! I love sleeping right next to her at night and snuggle in as close as possible. But everything I do, and especially this, seems to really annoy the man-human.
He lifts me off her when I’ve gotten comfortable, shoos me off the bed and steals my spot next to her. I can hear him tell her I’m ‘needy’ and to ‘stop encouraging’ me.
What’s going on and how can I make him see that I’m only happy when I’m near her?
Yours sadly,
Siggy, aged 36, Edinburgh
Dear Siggy,
My my, you’re still quite a young buck, eh? Just as well you wrote to me as I can see straight away what the problem is.
I’m afraid you have a classic case of an Oedipuss complex. You are overly attached to your ‘woman-human’, as you describe her, to the extent that you are jealous of the man-human and are trying to assert your dominance in this family dynamic. If this persists, you may damage the relationship you most cherish.
I’m sure the woman-human is very fond of you, but you must remember that the man-human was in her life first. You will not become closer to her through sabotage or cloying behaviour. You must accept that you have overstepped, try to find other comforts and interests in life, and get to know the man-human a little better. Be more respectful of boundaries and others’ needs.
Luckily your youth means you have time on your side. You’re young enough to grow out of this!
Now, you must excuse me – all this psychatanalysis has left me very tired and I must nap.
Yours purrfully,
Orlando